Things that sound like they might be fun, are usually not fun.

Jana: Once, feeling like our lives lacked adventure, we proved ourselves suckers for the “Top fun free things to do in New England this summer!” list compiled by the g-damn Boston Globe. Thinking it would be like, the greatest!, we booked a room in Providence, Rhode Island. We were going to see the Water Fire. Fire Water. Whatever it’s called, we assumed it would be something special. Something MORE than just a literal piece of fire floating in water.
We were wrong. The weekend was the worst. It was expensive and our room was cold and there were tons of hills to climb up and down and the bars were LAME. We had to eat dinner at a chain restaurant of some horrible kind. The only other fire water attendees were ugly gross children. Yes, one of us did eventually make out with a chubby English major, but it wasn’t enough to make up for our disappointment.
On the final morning of the trip, before we headed home, we stopped at Dunkin Donuts. Jana ordered what she thought would be a breakfast wrap. Instead, it was the smallest piece of fake egg we’d ever seen precariously residing in just the thinnest piece of tortilla. The fake egg tortilla represents the fire water. Lame, and a little weirdly over-advertised.
Later, we wrote these haikus about our experience:
A hotel! we thought
Bars! People! Floating fire!
But we were wrong. Wrong.
We had such high hopes
An adventure to cheer us
In the end, we lost.
The room was so cold.
The people were just the worst.
Deserved? I think not.
I remember then
the day was dark, the sadness
Providence. Oh god.

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